guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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