I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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