I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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