Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it's like iHOP with fire
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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