U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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