talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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