I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
