I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
