He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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