We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
