their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
