I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
