now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
