Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
