She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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