he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just googled if crying burns calories
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
A bitchslap is in order.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
