remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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