how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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