he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize