Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
