remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
