she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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