like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
