i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
