5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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