You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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