OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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