just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
