For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
And then he peed in my hair
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