I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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