i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
