so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
