he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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