I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize