they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
