I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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