I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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