You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
