I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
