smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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