I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
