I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
