he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
