thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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