just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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