I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm jealous of your bromance
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
