dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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