Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
