Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
