I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
