Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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