i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize