I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
