This is not my ceiling
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
