Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
