..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
