my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
