I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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