that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
