You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
